The Purpose and Plan for our Marriage and Family

Firstly, we know that God organized the human family from the since of Adam and Eve. President Kimball said, “Eternal marriage was known to Adam and others of the prophets, but the knowledge was list from the earth for many centuries.” More recently, God has directed modern prophets to reaffirm the eternal nature and potential of families.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/10/strengthening-the-family-what-is-a-family?lang=eng

"God and His plan are eternal. He instituted marriage and family in the beginning. God created the earth, the garden, and our first parents in order to create families for all of His children to be born into and experience mortal life-especially mortal family life. The Fall occurred because Adam and Eve chose to obey God's commandment to multiply and replenish the earth and thus create the first family. The Savior completed the Atonement in order to reconcile God's children with the Father and with one another. Thus, the great plan of happiness is God's plan for happiness in time and in eternity."

As you and I prepare to be sealed in the temple, we should consider how our marriage complies with the plan of salvation. With the truths about family that have been revealed, we can prayerful set goals for our marriage and family. As we counsel together we can each express our wishes and desires, as equals. Our goals should help us stay and progress on the covenant path that will allow us to return to Gods' presence as husband and wife. 

Chapter 2: Marriage Prep: We talked about the importance of preparing individually for selecting a marriage partner. Making sure that there was depth in the relationship. Realizing that sometimes we have to compromise on what our interests are especially when they are non-essential. We pray about being humble so that we can do things to show love to each other, even if that is not how we would choose to receive love. Specifically, learning each other’s love language and how to communicate our love to each other in a way that the other appreciates it as an expression of love.

Chapter 3: Marriage is ordained of God: We know that marriage is a commandment of God, but it is alo important not to try to rush His timing. Making and keeping covenants requires preparation and since it is God’s will, He will help us find someone to marry a the right time. In the sight of God, His sons and Daughters need to perform every ordinance and make all of the covenants that make up the New and Everlasting Covenant, it is the only way we can enter the Celestial kingdom and return to His presence. For those that never have the opportunity to marry in this life, a way has been prepared for them to be able to enjoy that blessing in the next life.

Chapter 4: Marriage as an equal partnership: We agree that equal does not mean identical. In The Family Proclamation, men and women, husbands and wives, are given responsibilities. As we talked about this, we referred to those responsibilities as our stewardships. We know that there are some marriages where husband and wife trade the responsibilities as they are set forth by the proclamation and we are happy that they do what works for them. We also know that even though we plan on following the council from the proclamation, life happens. We don’t know exactly what the Lord has in store for us, and we are willing to make adjustments to our life and lifestyle to make sure that we fulfill our duties to the Lord, to each other, and to any children we hope to add to our family. Above all, we are a team and we are to help each other. There might be times when one of us needs extra help with one of our stewardships, and other times the other partner might need extra help. The beautiful thing is that we know that we can rely on each other for love, help, and support.

Chapter 18: Faith in Family Life and Chapter 19: Sanctification and Cooperation Through Prayer: We have always talked about how we would establish a pattern of prayer and scripture study after we were married. As we talked about the spirit that we would be able to enjoy in our home and in our relationship from being consistent with those basic practices, we decided that we didn’t have to wait to be married to start these things now. Sharing thoughts from our personal scripture studies has become my favorite part of each day. We have also started praying together regularly. I learned that praying together can help prevent divorce by healing the relationship and restoring peace and harmony in the relationship. As I hear you pray for me, pray for our relationship, I am filled with so much love, joy, and gratitude. I can feel that you have faith that God is listening to your prayer, I can feel that you love Him, I can also feel that you love me. Neither one of us grew up in a home where scripture study or prayer were regular occurrences, it didn’t even happen in your home, but we know that we want it for us in our home and for our family. I knew that I wanted to marry someone that would lead our family in these practices and make it easier for the Spirit to fill out home.

Chapter 20: Repentance and Forgiveness in family life: This is another area in which you and I already have experience in. We come from completely different worlds, sometimes it feels like literal different planets. I know that the preparation we have made and the experiences you and I have had, have made it possible for us to express regret, ask for forgiveness, and extend forgiveness. In the gospel we learn how to change and how to progress to become more like God. When we recognize our errors, humble ourselves, ask for forgiveness, and make changes, we set in motion in the things we need to do to correct out actions and reduce the offenses we commit. This is important in a marriage and in a family, because we need to be able to recognize the role we play in misunderstandings so that we can be humble enough to apologize for our words and actions. Doing so gives us an opportunity to learn from the person that we offended how we could have done things better, thus helping us not to repeat the same offense. We should be sincere and show real effort to making corrections. Extending forgiveness also requires humility, and sometimes faith. Some offenses are greater than others and, and when needed, outside help might be required, but we should work towards being forgiving. Being able to forgive can release us from the burden of hurt. Sometimes the wounds made by others are too deep and painful to reconcile even after forgiveness, but we should find a way to forgive and move on in those situations as well. You and I have been able to forgive each other, and I know that our communication helps us do that. I love that we can talk about something, apologize when needed, forgive, and move on. I love that we don’t bring up past offenses unnecessarily.

Chapter 13: Mothers as Nurturers: “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels” (James R.

Clark, 1935-1951. P.178)

In 1976, President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord’s spirit children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments.”

In 2008, Elder Robert D. Hales said, “The world would state that a woman is in a form of servitude that does not allow her to develop her gifts and talents. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could be further from the truth. Do not let the world define, denigrate, or limit your feelings of lifelong learning and the values of motherhood in the home… Motherhood is the ideal opportunity for lifelong learning.”

We have talked about how important the role of mother is. We have talked about the influence our own mothers have had on us and how we want to share the responsibilities of loving teaching, protecting, and nurturing our future children.

We talked about how important it is for children to have their mothers show love by communicating with kindness and showing interest in their activities and being aware of behaviors. These things enable mothers to be understanding and supportive while also detecting needs to set appropriate limits and boundaries for each child.

Mothering is a calling and responsibility that every daughter of God is entrusted with, but how we mother is unique and individual. As a mother it is important to remember that being a mother is more than a list of tasks that need to be accomplished, we need to get to know and love each child individually, we need to set realistic expectations, realize that we will not be perfect in our attempts to do everything, and we really need to avoid comparing our abilities and talents with those of other mothers.

Chapter 14: Honor Thy Father.

President N. Eldon Tanner said, “It is a joyous privilege and blessing, and a heavy responsibility, to be that father and the patriarchal head of a family, with the challenge to teach and prepare its members to go back in to the presence of their Heavenly Father, where the family can continue to enjoy eternal life together.” https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/1977/06/fatherhood?lang=eng

The Proclamation says,” By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of like and protection for their families.”

When we talked about motherhood and the influence of our mothers, we also talked about fatherhood and the influence our fathers and father figures have had on us. We have talked about how we want to incorporate the good things our fathers have done. We have talked about having an equal partnership as parents. We know that God’s plan is for His sons and daughters to share the privilege of raising children. They are to support each other in their roles. Children, both boys and girls develop better socially and have fewer social problems as they grow when they have an actively and positively influenced father in their lives.

Additional resources on fatherhood: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/topics/fatherhood?lang=eng

Chapter 9: Marriage in Later Years. As we have gotten to know each other we have both expressed our desire to have a long-lasting and eternal marriage. We have both had past relationships that haven’t worked out. We have experienced different things and we are ready to commit to each other and make covenants in the temple to establish our own eternal family. We know and understand that there are things that we need to do individually and together to be able to nurture our relationship. Those things include: “(1) a personal commitment to the marriage covenant, (2) love and friendship, (3) positivity, (4) the ability to accept influence from [each other], (5) the respectful handling of differences and the ability to solve problems, and (6) continual courtship throughout the years. “

As we go through life we will be faced with challenges in our relationship, with our children, perhaps with our parents, as we age, and other unforeseeable sources. I know that as we continue to love, serve and get to know each other, we will grow closer to each other and to the Lord. We have decided that our shared faith will be a major factor in our lives. I know that as we remain faithful that we will gain the perspective we need to face our challenges together and grow closer.

Chapter 32: The Eternal Family: A Plain and Precious Part of the Plan of Salvation. Chapter 34:

Sharing and Defending Family Proclamation Principles. The Proclamation states that: “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children… The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

In April 2008, President Russell M. Nelson said, “In God’s eternal plan, salvation is an individual matter; exaltation is a family matter.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/salvation-and-exaltation?lang=eng

In our lifetime we have seen so many changes in government policies where lawmakers and societies have redefined marriage. We know that we have a responsibility to defend the family principles that have been established by the Lord. The ideals that He has set forth are the only way for families to experience true and everlasting joy.